One Day At A Time

If it is physically possible to have your heart so full yet so broken I think mine was at that point today.  Andrew and I are beyond blessed and completely in awe for the love and support our family, friends, co-workers, friends of friends, and even strangers have shown us in the last 24 hours.  Please know that every text, comment, phone call, message, and condoling hug means more than we can express.  Each message is taken to heart. Each personal experience makes our world seem closer to normal. Each contact with a medical professional that could benefit PA helps us feel hope.  Each prayer promise helps us breathe a little easier. We are trying to keep all of our attention on Presley. If we ever miss a reply to message please know we are truly appreciative of your time and energy put towards our family.

Today I spoke with ACH. About 10 times. My frustration was building being passed around to each department and given conflicting information.  The second to last lady I spoke to was a true angel.  She set everything straight and calmed me down off my ledge.  We do know that PA will be having a CT scan on Thursday.  She will have to be put under anesthesia for the process.  The plan then is to see the neurosurgeon and talk about her future with craniosynostosis that same afternoon.

Being told she had to have a CT scan and anesthesia didn't hit me as hard since I had prepared for this phone call mentally.  What I had not prepared for was the questionnaire concerning her health being adequate for the actual anesthesia they would use.  Anesthesia was a huge concern of mine from the beginning and I know the harsh side effects it has on people, let alone babies.  Knowing that I could harm her more by answering a question wrong made me nauseous.  As the nurse went through her list (which I am sure she does twenty times a day) I stuttered answering the most simple questions.  My brain could not overcome the thought of me potentially not being the perfect mom and answering the questions with the most thorough answer I could recall.

Someone told me today that the power of being positive is greater than you would expect.  That is hilarious because I am the ultimate pessimist when it comes to situations like this.  Thankfully, Andrew is the ultimate optimist and we can usually meet somewhere in the middle to make a normal thought.
So we have decided to end each blog with a positive.  We are trying so hard not to change our ways with Presley. We want have Christmas as if their was nothing wrong, play with her like nothing is happening, smile with her like we are not emotionally drained, and celebrate "baby" things along the way.  So, positive note; we saw her first tooth today! She officially is not all gums!